I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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