Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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