stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
