he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
