dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My penis needs a shock collar
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
