i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
