She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
