Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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