my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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