census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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