i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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