i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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