who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
