im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
