Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one