I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight