Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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