I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive