How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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