she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize