Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
