i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i was born a porn star she said
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
