Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
