the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
