John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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