Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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