If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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