i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
