i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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