People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
