my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
