If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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