Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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