I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
