what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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