How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
