Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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