Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
