i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
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Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
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I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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