i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
