thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
