I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We smell like vodka and hangover
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