Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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