so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize