some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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