There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
