Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
