I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
