At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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