I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
