That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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