'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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