I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
