dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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