she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
