It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She's the barista slut.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
