Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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