I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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