Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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