And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
