I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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