I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
40s are totally the cure
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
