It's Friday. Sex?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
