I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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