This is not my ceiling
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
