watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i used baking grease as lip gloss
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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