lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
