I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm like, not good at living.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
