you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
