so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
