FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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