after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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