The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
