Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
